Welcome to the Spline-a-Teria, an unlicensed restaurant in a suburban house which only serves fish pie. (That’s not entirely true: I also set plain bread as an appetizer, and a plain muffin as a dessert, and added all of the level 1 drinks to the menu.)
The very first customer – I’m not making this up – was the Simself of my friend Erin! She looks super excited to be there. She’s giving it a three-star review just walking in the door!
Erin shared a table with some rando. She ordered a nice cup of hot tea to go with her mandatory slice of fish pie.
By the way, fish pie is a real thing.
A few minutes later, the rando stood up from the table and barfed her fish pie all over the floor. Blake was too busy playing with her phone to notice.
Undeterred by the vomit on the floor beside her, Erin dug into her piping hot fish pie.
Her weak little smile says “I’m not really enjoying this but I’m trying to be supportive of my friend’s new business.”
I offered to comp the table drinks. Instead of ordering a cocktail or another cup of tea, Erin left the remains of her fish pie at the table, changed into her pink sweatsuit, and jogged back home.