Destination Wedding, Depending on Your Definition of Destination

I can’t believe the last Splines wedding was 18 months ago! It’s well past time for another one.

I started by making all the necessary preparations. First, the usual shenanigans involved in creating a wedding cake:

  1. Bake a white cake
  2. It’s not in the “bake” menu
  4. Set the cake on a table
  5. A little to the left
  6. This isn’t working, let’s try the other table
  7. Add a cake topper
  8. Put it back into your Sim’s inventory

Then I planned wedding outfits for Joaquin and Morgan, and bought a wedding arch and put it in Morgan’s inventory. I was pleased with myself for remembering to tick the “goaled event” box to make their wedding a goaled event. And then there was the choice of venue.

As I discovered last time, the “plan a wedding” interface gives you a long list of venues to choose. Most of these are public spaces, like a museum or various parks. But there are also a few venues which are just some person’s house.

If you select someone’s house as a venue, they don’t have a say in the matter. You just show up at their doorstep unannounced with up to 15 of your closest friends, with a cake and a wedding arch in your pocket, and they’re like, “Sure, come on in!”

Obviously I’m only ever choosing that option from now on.

Gia Maher sits on her couch watching TV Sims 4

The wedding party arrived at the Maher residence (Brooks Bridge Borough in Glimmerbrook) at 9 a.m. to find Gia Maher sitting alone in her living room watching television.

Gia Maher sits on her couch watching TV Sims 4

“There’s a wedding at my house? Right now? And I’m sorry, who are you again?”

Maher house Glimmerbrook Sims 4

I put the wedding arch in the kitchen, because that’s the only place it fit. Please take a moment to savor this house’s utter and complete lack of any type of decoration. Each room is lit by a single ceiling lamp. The effect is somewhat less celebratory than one might want for a wedding, but no matter! Let’s call it “ambience” and move on.

Sims 4 wedding non-binary

Joaquin and Morgan married in the kitchen while everyone else stood around the barely-furnished living room, chatting or just staring into space.

Sims 4 non-binary wedding

Immediately after the wedding, Joaquin took a nap in Gia’s bed. I don’t blame him! Weddings are exhausting! Maybe he could have taken off his silk top hat first, though?

Sims 4 taking a nap on a stranger's bed
Sims 4 mingling in a stranger's house

Everyone mingled, or tried to. A semi-circle of Sims accumulated outside, where it was unaccountably dark for 10 a.m. They stood and chatted, fully ignoring the dirty plate on the ground.

Sims 4 mingling outside a stranger's house

Guys, we have to at least clean up after ourselves, okay??? Gia doesn’t have a janitorial staff!

Sims 4 ready for the afterparty

After Joaquin woke up from his nap, Morgan changed into their overall shorts, and the two newlyweds made their grand entrance.

Sims 4 wedding

Gia: “This is fine and normal.”

Sims 4 mopping the floor

Eventually the wedding came to an end and all the guests left. Leaving Gia to clean up her whole entire house alone.

I left the wedding arch for her, though. It was the least I could do.

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