I can’t even keep track of the kids anymore. Now that they’re all teenagers, they can take care of their own needs. Once I discovered that the School performance drop-down menu includes the option to “Work on late homework in class,” I realized that I could take the concept of feral Sims to the next level!

I pay slightly more attention to Geraint, as he is the heir. But lately I have been focused on pushing Kerri up the career ladder. I want the top-level Criminal perks! (Specifically, I want the stolen garden gnomes.)

Here she’s looking around shiftily, before swiping the public garbage can. Thievery is fun!

Until you get caught. Aw.

She went to jail overnight, but they didn’t let her sleep. Here she’s about to nod off, right there on the steps of the police station.

And someone tell me, how is it that a Sim with level 7 Athletic skill, who works out every day, has a doughy belly like that? Oh how I wish her work outfit was something less whore-y.

Meanwhile back at the house, Delphine set the barbecue grill on fire trying to make hot dogs. Parker Spline’s ghost helpfully tried to put it out. I’m not sure if it didn’t work because he’s a ghost, or just because fire extinguishers are largely useless in the Sims universe.

Hannah escaped, but not without being gravely scorched for a while.

Death finally came for Napoleon, at the ripe old age of 98 days. (Luckily not before she’d earned the Moodlet Manager, which I’ve wanted for ages.)

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