<p>Kay waddled across the street to the hospital and gave birth there. Then she returned home with her new twin girls, Pearl and Opal!
<p>(Kay is smiling while thinking about a politician’s podium. I decided that she must be thinking about something funny she saw on The Daily Show. Happens to me all the time.)<div align=”center”><img src=”/images/2010/02/223-04.jpg”></div>
<p>My secret to having twins is to play the radio set to the Kids station during the entire pregnancy. That damned Kids music about drives me crazy, but it does the trick. If you’re pressed for time, double down by playing the Kids radio station while your pregnant Sim reads a pregnancy book.
<p>Willis can now swing into action, acting as the primary caregiver while Kay works on her novels. He does a pretty good job of taking care of the babies.<div align=”center”><img src=”/images/2010/02/223-05.jpg”></div>
<p><i>Lullaby, baby spliff. May you sleep through the whole night. I won’t smoke you, I promise. It’s better than making maggot jokes.</i>