Cruel Summer

So far Audrey is having a heck of a summer. It started off strong, when Plopsy user BobWaffles bought her first cross stitch for a whopping $563! And the eggs from her chickens are selling for $15 APIECE.

Then it all went to hell when she tried to tell a wild rabbit a joke.

I sent her to the park to befriend a wild rabbit to advance her Aspirations. Found a rabbit and selected the action, “Tell joke about leafy greens.” Sounds like a sure thing, right?

NOPE. Maybe it was her delivery, maybe she happened across a wild rabbit with no sense of humor, or maybe wild rabbits are just a tough audience. Her joke went over… badly.

She ended up with the bad moodlet “Rabbit is unamused (From a Rabbit Disliking a Joke)” which might be the most hilarious moodlet in the entire game.

This day also happened to be “Summer is the Worst,” a custom holiday I created years ago and had forgotten until it popped up in the game’s timeline. “Summer is the Worst” traditions are Streaking, Grilling, Water Fun, and Partying.

I thought after her rabbit comedy flop, I would cheer her up by having her streak around the park. It was full of other naked Sims running around (P.S. this is unsettling) so why not join in the fun?

She, uh… she didn’t enjoy it. I felt real bad.

Back at home, she made scrambled eggs and accidentally set them on fire. It was at this point I realized her house has no fire alarms, so it was a tense few moments until she was able to successfully pat the fire out with a spatula.

The next day we had our first thunderstorm of the summer season. Audrey is VERY scared of thunderstorms. Any time I sent her out to take care of the animals, she panicked and ran back inside.

This means she missed the hatching of the brand-new baby chick!

If you have roosters, a small percentage of the eggs you gather from the coop are fertilized, and can be incubated. The incubation process is “put the egg in the coop and wait.” I wasn’t sure it was going to work, so I was thrilled to see the baby emerge from the coop.

Let’s zoom in on that adorable little nugget!

Those feet and tiny wings are killing me!

I gave up trying to make Audrey leave the house during a thunderstorm. I let her stay in and work on her cross stitch while watching TV.

This pattern is called “Aubergine,” and she earned it by running an errand for the bartender in town.

If you’re thinking, “Hmm, that looks like the eggplant emoji,” you are correct.

I’m definitely not selling this one! In fact I love it so much that I spent some time browsing Etsy (the real-world version of Plopsy) for emoji cross stitch patterns. I was not disappointed.

At this point, things took a hard left turn. Audrey got a call from Darren Spline informing her that she had a large inheritance coming to her, IF she gets married in the next seven days.

Obviously I had to accept this offer. Can we do it? Get married in seven days when she hasn’t even flirted with anyone yet? I guess we’ll find out!

Let’s call this Bachelor #1. I haven’t checked to see if he’s single, but he’s the town librarian, and just… just LOOK at him! I mean come on. I need those looks in my life ASAP.